“My dad was a Marine turned police officer, and my mom was a teacher. Growing up, my parents instilled incredible values in me and taught me how to live a life of integrity. I always believed God existed, but I didn’t understand that Christ died for me.
“We talked a lot about doing the right thing and being a good person. I became a goody-two-shoes, rule-follower. I put my identity in my grades and being a good kid who made good choices. I always wanted to be the best at everything to make my parents proud.
“In elementary school, I discovered a love and talent for music. Performing in talent shows fed my desire to make others proud. Eventually, I auditioned for a singing TV show. I never became a finalist, but it sparked this idea that music could be my career. I went on to sing in restaurants and venues around the state, getting a lot of attention. Later, I stayed busy playing shows with a management team and a band.
“During my sophomore year of high school, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and given six months to live. This was a really hard season for me because she was my best friend whom I trusted with everything. She ended up living two and a half more years, and during that time, I heard her talk about God more than ever before.
“As her health declined, family friends invited us to a local church in Dallas. I threw myself into the youth group. I felt good when I was there, but I hadn’t quite understood why yet.
“My mom passed away during my senior year, and life changed drastically with just my dad, my younger sister, and me. I wanted to help my dad and care for my sister, but I didn’t know how. It was a season of change, grief, and learning a new normal.
“After college, I moved to Nashville to pursue music but quickly realized I’d gone from being a big fish in a small pond to a minnow in the ocean. It was lonely, and I eventually moved back to Dallas.
“During that season, I was in a long-term relationship that on the outside looked pure to some, but in reality, we were partying, drinking, and living together. We dated for six years. I was very convinced we were going to get married, so when he broke up with me, I was blindsided. It was like one day I woke up and didn’t even know who I was anymore. I had idolized him and the relationship so much that when it ended, I felt like I had nothing left.
“In the middle of that sadness, a friend invited me to The Porch. I told her, ‘I don’t think I’ll be accepted or allowed in the church because I’ve done too many bad things.’
“I felt like damaged goods. But in the Lord’s perfect timing, I went. That night, they had just started a series on Romans 8.
“Through Scripture and the message, I heard the gospel for the first time that night. I realized I’m not too far gone. I finally understood what Christ had done (Romans 8:3) and that God still wanted a relationship with me, no matter what I’d done or what relationships I’d lost (Romans 8:1). I accepted Jesus that day after I finally heard what I’d been missing for so long. Even though I’d been in a church environment before, it was like the Lord finally opened my eyes that very night.
“Through this surrender, I began to feel the heavy weight of my sin. I just wanted to truly give everything up and commit my life to Christ. My first steps were immediately getting involved at Watermark, becoming a member, and joining a community group. I was surrounded by people and ministries that consistently pointed me to Christ and that grew my relationship with him.
“A year later, I met my husband. On our second date, I told him, ‘I am all in with Jesus. If you’re not, this isn’t going to work.’ To my surprise, he was on the same page! I am so grateful that my relationship and identity in the Lord felt secure before I walked into marriage.
“Even when marriage had its challenges and rocked our world, God used his Word and his people to show us what it looks like to put Christ first in our lives and relationship.
“I really feel like my identity has changed. As a kid, I always wanted to perform—whether at school, in music, or in relationships. But I found so much more peace when I put my identity in Christ. I have a sense of security that I had never had before, but I still struggle with misplaced identity. Things fall apart when I lose sight of who I am in Christ. I’m constantly relearning that.
“I often have to ask myself, ‘What is your identity? Brittnee: Working Mom of Two? Brittnee: Trying to be a Good Wife? Or Brittnee: Daughter of Christ?’
“The Lord has reminded me lately that he has me right where he wants me. He will reveal things to me as I need them, but I will be sanctified on his timeline. And it’s not going to look perfect. I’m going to mess up sometimes, and I’m finally okay with that because I fully trust him.”