Validation was my idol. Jesus became my Savior.
Before I came to Christ, I would describe my life as a constant search for affirmation—trying to fill that void with whatever I could find. I grew up in a broken household, born from an extramarital affair. My dad was married, and my mom was the mistress. Eventually, when things didn’t work out, my mom moved us from Houston to Dallas.
As a single mother, she worked two jobs to support me while navigating the cultural challenges of living in the U.S. after leaving her home country of Vietnam. She loved me deeply and did her best to provide for us.
As I got older, the brokenness I experienced continued to shape me. I witnessed unhealthy relationships and was exposed to pornography at a young age.
These experiences had a significant impact on me, and I sought validation by pursuing girls, hanging out with the wrong crowds, experimenting with marijuana, and getting drunk at parties.
In college, that same cycle continued—what I like to call a bad country song on repeat. I fully embraced the college experience, feeding my need for validation through pride, sexual lust, and people-pleasing. I was living solely for myself.
After college, I moved back to Dallas and adjusted to the new reality of adulting, still seeking validation through various distractions and relationships. At some point, friends invited me to their local church. I went mainly to socialize, without any real spiritual interest.
Over time, I began to hear that Jesus is the Good News. I learned that God loved the world so much that he sent his only Son, Jesus Christ, who lived the perfect life that we as sinners could not live, before a holy God. Jesus died on the cross for our sins, and three days later, he rose from the grave. Anyone who puts their trust in him will be saved, forgiven, and granted eternal life with God.
Eventually, I realized I wanted a personal relationship with God and decided to place my trust in Christ.
And yet, Monday through Saturday, I was still indulging my selfish desires while putting up a facade of having it all together on Sundays.
It wasn’t until around the age of 30, after getting out of an unhealthy relationship, that I hit a low point in my life. In my tears and despair, I remember praying to the Lord, “I don’t know what it means to follow You. Please show me what it means.”
As the Bible describes, God is patient, rich in mercy, and full of great love. He answered my prayer through a co-worker, Wes, who began inviting me to another church, Watermark.
There, I started to experience what God had in store for me. I found biblical community—people who were authentic and genuinely wanted to follow Jesus together. Wes began to disciple me, helping me grow in my faith through the Word of God. Over time, God provided me with other godly men—Jeff, Odie, Kevin, Tom, Kyle, and David—who helped shape my understanding of what it means to follow Jesus, alongside the various ministries of the church.
Eventually, I truly came to understand and believe why Jesus is the Good News and God’s means of salvation. One of my favorite verses is Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.”
In other words, what I rightfully deserve before a good, holy, and righteous God is eternal separation because of my sin and rebellion. But God, in his mercy, offers me eternal life as a gift through faith in Jesus Christ. I’ve also realized that God’s salvation comes by his grace alone—not by anything I could do or fail to do. It’s all through God alone, in Jesus Christ, as emphasized in Ephesians 2:8–9.
I hold onto the truth that God calls me his child (John 1:12), and that I am a new creation in Christ (Galatians 2:20). While I still face moments of hardship in dealing with my sinful tendencies, I’m grateful that God is continually working in and through me. He’s helping me rest in his love and freedom and empowering me to live more like Jesus. My life in Christ has brought me a sense of purpose and fulfillment that’s hard to fully explain.
One of the greatest ways I've seen God's work in my life is through how he has reshaped my understanding of fatherhood.
Growing up with an absent father, I didn't always have a clear picture of what fatherhood was meant to be. I received snippets through my friends’ dads or my coaches growing up, and providentially through the men the Lord put in my life that I described earlier.
God is a loving and faithful Father who has provided for me, pursued me, and never left me. He has been everything I needed, even in the places where I experienced loss and brokenness.
One of my greatest desires for my children—Blakely, Crew, and Reed—is that they would know they are deeply loved, not because of what they do or accomplish, but because they are made in God's image and loved by him. I want them to find their identity, hope, and satisfaction in Jesus rather than spending years searching for validation the way I did. Fatherhood is not just about providing for my children; it's about being present, loving them well, pointing them to Jesus, and reflecting the same grace and faithfulness that God has shown me throughout my life.